Breakups are hard. But you might be surprised that breaking up with a loving girlfriend/boyfriend can be far less harrowing than breaking up with your landlord. Still, it is possible to end your relationship while leaving you both feeling OK about the split.

Because whether you have just purchased a new house, are leaving to study abroad, are moving in with the woman of your dreams, or just can’t stand continuing to live in your rented flat anymore, there is a way to transition out of your rental home in a professional, correct manner.

Being in the right when you end your tenancy means being legally in the right – but also doing it in a way that you and your landlord feel good about. This isn’t just a feel-good policy – this is the best way to reduce the risk of paying lease-breaking fees.

Don’t be that guy

Below are several tips you should absolutely avoid doing if you are considering breaking up with your landlord:

Never leave the rental without properly communicating with your landlord.

As your ex would no doubt agree, bailing out without communicating, or via texting is a big no-no. You need to communicate that things are over between you, and you need to do it right. In many rental contracts there will be a clause describing a transition from year-by-year leases into month-by-month agreements at the end of the lease. If you are on a month-to-month lease arrangement, you still need to provide due notice to your landlord that you are moving out.

What exactly does that mean? Well, this depends on the law in your country. You may need to provide official notice anywhere from 30-90 days prior to your intended move-out date. Your intended move-out date is the final day for which you are liable for rent – and also the day on which you need to deliver the keys to the flat back to the landlord and give up any and all tenancy rights.

Don’t just walk out of the property

Some tenants just move out of the rented flat, leaving many of their belongings behind for the landlord to sort out. This practice is known as abandonment, and it is even more of a no-no than failure to communicate. If you did this to your significant other you would be guilty of ghosting, which is pretty much the worst way to break up with someone – so don’t do this to your landlord. Unlike your ex, he can and likely will take you to court for the expenses you just imposed on him.

Expenses? What expenses? Well, legally, he can’t just throw out your junk.  None of it, no matter how banged up, useless and malfunctional it is. Yes, including the TV that is just a bunch of dead electronic circuits. The only things landlords are legally permitted to throw out is rotting trash – garbage bags filled with moldering clothes don’t count. What this means is that the landlord is obligated to itemize all of your abandoned renter property (otherwise he is opening himself up for a lawsuit), store the items for a legally mandated period of time, and even then he is not permitted to dump the junk. Instead, he needs to sell the items and turn the proceeds over to the county. This is a massive financial and managerial nightmare – and you can be dead sure the landlord will be taking it out of your hide. In fact, if he knows his stuff, the landlord will be keeping a very careful account of all the costs you imposed on him (and his time is also a cost which can be quantified or subcontracted to someone who will provide an inflated invoice for the service) and will regularly update you of just how much you are costing him. Some renters think that abandoning a property will enable them to skip a missed payment or contract voiding penalty – but the costs of abandonment are generally far, far higher than anything they might be saving. A much, much better option is to talk things over with your landlord. He’s a human being, just like you, and will likely prefer to work out a deferred rent payment schedule with you rather than engage in litigation.

Breaking up with your landlord the right way

So you can’t just walk out and leave the landlord to deal with the fallout of the failed relationship. The good news is that there is a way to breakup with him without leaving a residue of hard feelings and legal battles royale. Below are the steps you need to undertake if you want to end your tenancy the right way.

Talk with your landlord or his property manager

Just pick up the phone, man. Tell your landlord, or his property manager, that you want to move on and move out. Ask him what you need to do to provide him with a proper notice. They will likely tell you how much head’s up they need, usually 60 days. Of course, you can simply look up the information on your lease, but calling your landlord helps avoid misunderstandings and may be easier than hunting down the right clause, or sometimes you can agree with him on different timing.

Of course, if you want to win brownie points with your landlord, then you want to give him a head’s up well before you are obligated to. Legal obligations aside, your landlord can really use the extra time to line up your replacement and will hence be less of a hardcase about any other obligations you might have.

That said, when you dial up your landlord and inform him of you move-out plans, be careful not to submit a formal notice to vacate until the legally mandated date. This gives you some wriggle room in case your plans change, and you find yourself in need of a place to stay until you line some residence up. Once you file the formal notice to vacate your obligation to clear out your apartment becomes ironclad, and you will not be able to drag things out, save at your potentially irate landlord’s sufferance.

Giving due notice

Follow up your phone call to your landlord with a formal notice to vacate, in accordance with your landlord’s instructions. There may be a form to fill out, especially if you are living in a large apartment complex or one run by a corporation. Otherwise, download and mail or email a formal Notice of Intent to Vacate.

The Notice of Intent to Vacate is no more than a simple letter informing your landlord the date you intend to move out and where to send the security to. I bet you are wishing there was an equivalent form letter for romantic breakups, right?

Sample letter to vacate – template

Be sure to include the date of notice submission, the date when you plan to vacate, and your post relocation address. You do not need to offer an explanation for leaving. This notice is simply the official paperwork landlords need to include on their records.

Also, pay attention to the delivery date you attach to your notice. It is best to synchronize delivery date with rent deadlines – if you pay rent on the 10^th of every month, and turn in the 30-day-notice at the same time you turn in your rent, then you may well be liable for all of the rent due up to the 10^th of the next month, rather than the remainder of the current month.

When is providing a Notice of Intent to Vacate simply not enough?

A notice of intent to vacate is not a magic formula you can whip out whenever you want to quit. It is only valid when you have the legal right to move out of the property. You gain this legal right only when your lease term is concluded or if you have a month-to-month lease.

So what do you do if you are in the middle of a yearly lease contract? Well, you cannot simply submit a Notice of Intent to Vacate and expect no difficulties from your landlord. When you signed your contract with your landlord you undertook to pay your rent for the entire term of the contract – not just for as long as you want to live in the apartment. If you really don’t want to stay, then you will have to try to reach some sort of arrangement with your landlord. Typically, most landlords will be prepared to let you move out if you give them time to arrange a new tenant, or if you undertake to find a replacement.

Off and away!

Well done! You’ve handed in the letter and are ready to head off into the sunset. Well, not quite yet. Below are several loose ends you may want to wrap up first:

Request move-out instructions:

Your landlord might just have certain specific conditions to terminate the relationship amicably, depending on the condition of the apartment. Remember the housewarming party and the bung incident? Taking the carpet to a professional cleaner, or replacing it, is a reasonable request under the circumstances.

Go through a pre-move-out inspection:

Make sure to ask your landlord to perform the move-out inspection at least a week before you intend to move out. This inspection will give your landlord a chance to identify issues you need to address (cleaning, repair, replacement, recompensation) and give you a chance to take care of them, and get your security deposit back, before you are up to your elbows in organizing your new place.

Be polite!

Unlike your ex, your landlord will serve as a reference in any future applications you make for new apartments, so you really want to part on good terms. Cooperate in showing the property to new applicants (especially if you asked to move out before the rental period is over). And while this might be difficult, accepting criticism during the move-out inspection and working to remedy any issues that arise is an absolute must.

Security Deposit Tips

One of the best things about an amicable breakup with your landlord is the cash payout you have to look forward to once the security deposit is returned. You should definitely ask your landlord when they intend to return the security deposit, and make sure his intentions align with the laws governing this in your country. These laws also govern what deductions the landlord is entitled to make on your deposit (remember the move-out inspection) and the conditions under which he may make such deductions.

Landing in the friend zone

Thinking ahead, being consistently polite and professional, and paying attention to these guidelines will help you end your relationship with your landlord on a positive note and moving on to the “friend” zone without any pesky fallout that will hound your future relationships!